What Is Banksying? The Toxic Breakup Trend You Should Know About

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Banksying is one of the most emotionally painful ways to end a relationship—and the person on the receiving end usually doesn’t see it coming. Unlike ghosting, where someone disappears suddenly, banksying is a slow, silent breakup. It’s when one person gradually pulls away emotionally without ever directly communicating that the relationship is over.

The term comes from Banksy, the famous street artist who once shredded one of his artworks just moments after it sold at auction. That act—of something appearing whole on the surface while it was actually being destroyed behind the scenes—inspired this relationship trend. In banksying, someone “shreds” the relationship slowly and silently, while pretending everything is fine.

Here’s how banksying typically unfolds. It often begins with gradual distance—the person starts communicating less, makes fewer plans, and slowly pulls away emotionally. Despite that, they continue keeping up appearances, saying things like “I love you,” showing up to important events, and behaving as if everything is normal, all while quietly preparing to leave.

Banksy’s iconic «Balloon Girl» painting self destructed after it sold for $1.4 million at an auction in London pic.twitter.com/vqxCzBnYkT

— Historic Vids (@historyinmemes) March 19, 2023

Finally, it ends in a silent breakup. The relationship is cut off suddenly, but for them, it had been over for months. The other person is left confused, hurt, and without any real sense of closure.

Why Is It So Harmful?

Banksying is considered one of the most toxic breakup behaviors because:

• It leaves the other person in shock, with no clear explanation.
• The slow withdrawal can damage their self-esteem and sense of reality.
• There’s no space for mutual closure or emotional processing.
• It often causes long-term emotional distress, including trust issues in future relationships.

Why Do People Do It?

There are several reasons someone might resort to banksying:

• Fear of confrontation or not knowing how to end things respectfully.
• Wanting to avoid being “the bad guy” by slowly fading out instead.
• Emotional immaturity or lack of communication skills.
• Still depending on the relationship for emotional comfort or stability until they’re “ready” to leave.

In today’s dating culture—especially with so much interaction happening online—banksying has become a way for some people to quietly exit a relationship without facing the discomfort of an honest conversation.

In some cases, people who’ve experienced banksying report symptoms similar to those of grief or emotional trauma.

This new dating trend is leaving people baffled and heartbroken. It’s called ‘Banksying.’ pic.twitter.com/9tes4fqvs6

— Deconstructed Cachapa (@AntiClimaco) July 9, 2025

Warning Signs You Might Be Getting “Banksyed”:

• They become distant or cold, but won’t talk about what’s wrong.
• They stop making plans for the future or avoid commitment-related topics.
• You feel a lack of emotional connection, even if you’re still technically “together.”
• They avoid conversations about the relationship or brush off concerns with vague responses.

How to Respond If It’s Happening to You

The best way to handle it is to address the situation directly. If you notice a shift in your partner’s behavior, don’t be afraid to ask clear and honest questions. Express your concerns and seek clarity.

If they continue to avoid the conversation or make you feel like you’re imagining things, prioritize your emotional well-being. Ending a relationship is hard—but being dragged through a slow emotional exit is even harder.

Banksying may not leave visible scars, but its emotional damage can be deep and long-lasting. It’s a breakup tactic rooted in silence, avoidance, and fear of direct communication. Recognizing it early can help you take back control, set boundaries, and protect yourself from a relationship that’s already fading—just without anyone saying it out loud.