What Is Gaslighting? How It Works and Why It’s So Harmful
This is a form of emotional manipulation where someone tries to make another person doubt their own thoughts, feelings, or memories
You’ve probably heard the term gaslighting before—maybe in a conversation about a toxic relationship or on social media—but what does it really mean?
Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation where someone tries to make another person doubt their own thoughts, feelings, or memories. It can happen in romantic relationships, friendships, families, or even at work. The goal? To gain control by making the other person feel confused, insecure, or even “crazy.”
Gaslighting often starts subtly. Here are some common examples:
- You say something hurt you, and the other person responds, “You’re too sensitive.”
- You remember a situation clearly, but they insist, “That never happened.”
- You express discomfort, and they reply, “You’re just imagining things.”
Over time, this kind of behavior chips away at your self-esteem and your trust in your own perception of reality. That’s what makes gaslighting so dangerous—it creates emotional instability and makes it harder to stand up for yourself.
What Causes Gaslighting?
People who gaslight often do it to:
- Avoid accountability (they don’t want to admit they’re wrong),
- Maintain power or control in a relationship,
- Manipulate others for personal benefit.
It can stem from insecurity, narcissism, or learned behavior from past relationships. That doesn’t excuse it—but it helps explain why it happens.
Signs You Might Be Experiencing Gaslighting
If you’re feeling like:
- You constantly second-guess yourself,
- You apologize all the time even when you’re not sure why,
- You feel like you’re “walking on eggshells,”
- You no longer trust your own judgment,
…it may be time to take a step back and assess whether someone in your life is gaslighting you.
What You Can Do
- Keep track of what’s happening – Writing things down can help you stay grounded in your reality.
- Talk to someone you trust – A friend, therapist, or counselor can offer perspective.
- Set boundaries – You don’t have to accept disrespect or manipulation.
- Seek professional help – Especially if the gaslighting is long-term or affecting your mental health.
Gaslighting is not just a trendy term—it’s a real and harmful form of psychological abuse. Recognizing it is the first step toward healing. Whether it’s in a relationship, at work, or even within your own family, know this: your experiences and feelings are valid. And no one has the right to take that away from you.