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What Is Banksying? The Toxic Breakup Trend You Should Know About

Think ghosting is bad? This is slower, colder, and even more painful

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Banksying is one of the most emotionally painful ways to end a relationship—and the person on the receiving end usually doesn’t see it coming. Unlike ghosting, where someone disappears suddenly, banksying is a slow, silent breakup. It’s when one person gradually pulls away emotionally without ever directly communicating that the relationship is over.

The term comes from Banksy, the famous street artist who once shredded one of his artworks just moments after it sold at auction. That act—of something appearing whole on the surface while it was actually being destroyed behind the scenes—inspired this relationship trend. In banksying, someone “shreds” the relationship slowly and silently, while pretending everything is fine.

Here’s how banksying typically unfolds. It often begins with gradual distance—the person starts communicating less, makes fewer plans, and slowly pulls away emotionally. Despite that, they continue keeping up appearances, saying things like “I love you,” showing up to important events, and behaving as if everything is normal, all while quietly preparing to leave.

Finally, it ends in a silent breakup. The relationship is cut off suddenly, but for them, it had been over for months. The other person is left confused, hurt, and without any real sense of closure.

Why Is It So Harmful?

Banksying is considered one of the most toxic breakup behaviors because:

A couple stand near a street art graffiti in Paris on July 18, 2025. (Photo by Behrouz MEHRI / AFP) (Photo by BEHROUZ MEHRI/Getty Images)

Why Do People Do It?

There are several reasons someone might resort to banksying:

In today’s dating culture—especially with so much interaction happening online—banksying has become a way for some people to quietly exit a relationship without facing the discomfort of an honest conversation.

In some cases, people who’ve experienced banksying report symptoms similar to those of grief or emotional trauma.

Warning Signs You Might Be Getting “Banksyed”:

How to Respond If It’s Happening to You

The best way to handle it is to address the situation directly. If you notice a shift in your partner’s behavior, don’t be afraid to ask clear and honest questions. Express your concerns and seek clarity.

If they continue to avoid the conversation or make you feel like you’re imagining things, prioritize your emotional well-being. Ending a relationship is hard—but being dragged through a slow emotional exit is even harder.

A young couple sits on a curved bench in a park, with the man leaning forward and holding his head while the woman sits upright beside him, in Prague, Czech Republic, on May 11, 2025. (Michael Nguyen/Getty Images)

Banksying may not leave visible scars, but its emotional damage can be deep and long-lasting. It’s a breakup tactic rooted in silence, avoidance, and fear of direct communication. Recognizing it early can help you take back control, set boundaries, and protect yourself from a relationship that’s already fading—just without anyone saying it out loud.

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